Lingvistický hnidopich

26. prosince 2011 v 15:56 | Wodin |  Úvahy
Klipso sa chvastá, že koľko má peňazí.
Jorge mu na to:"To je nič, ja mám raz toľko jak ty."
Džiberaldo Klipsovi: "To je furt nič, ja mám dva razy toľko ako ty!"

Slovenčina je na hlavu. Logické nezrovnalosti sú asi v každom jazyku, no na slovenčine, prvom cudzom jazyku, ktorý som sa naučil, to vnímam asi najvýraznejšie.
Okrem dvojitého záporu, teda nič nemám = niečo mám alebo nejdem nikam= idem niekam sa v slovenskom jazyku vyskytujú mnohé ďalšie kuriozity. Napríklad raz toľko = dva razy toľko. Ale mudrci z Jazykovedného ústavu Ľudovíta Štúra samozrejme neriešia takéto nelogickosti, pretože ich prácou je každý deň dve hodiny bazírovať nad výslovnosťou každej hlásky v každom slove.

Ako je možné, že raz toľko, napriek tomu, že je v ňom použitá iná číslica má rovnakú hodnotu ako dva razy toľko? Predstavte si to zakreslené do grafu. Začiatok grafu, raz toľko, dva razy toľko - stagnácia a zrazu tri razy toľko - rast! Možno pre toto sa ekonomika dostáva z recesie pomalšie, ako do nej upadá! Možno preto som z matematiky prechádzal na slabé štvorky celú strednú školu, možno v tom spočíva jedinečný a večný problém brániaci Človeku v ceste k osvieteniu, to večné poleno hodené pod nohy pokroku.
Keby tento problém neexistoval, možno by ľudstvo bolo na raz takej, čoby, na dva razy takej úrovni ako teraz! Môj škrečok by bol ešte na žive, pretože by nežil raz, ale najmenej dva razy toľko, ako priemerný škrečok džungarský.

No ja to teraz nerozriešim, keďže nie som mudrc z JúĽŠ. Ja som proste mudrc. Radšej sa pýtam, ako odpovedám.
Toto je len námet na rozmýšľanie pre všetkých, ktorý nemajú nič lepšie na práci. A keď nemáte nič lepšie na práci, tak by som vám radil robiť niečo konštruktívne. Napríklad zobrať lopatu, vykopať jamu a zakopať ju. Potom vykopať raz takú jamu a zakopať ju. Potom vykopať dva razy takú jamu ako pôvodnú a zakopať ju.
To je chlapské empirické riešenie problému, nie takéto obkecávačky. Neskôr by ste mi mohli napísať, ako experiment dopadol, mne sa totiž lopatu v garáži lopatu hľadať nechce, je tam strašný bordel. Jamy by ste mohli nechať vedľa seba vykopané a vykopať ešte tri razy takú pre porovnanie.

PS: Rozhovor zo začiatku tohoto útvaru som naozaj zažil. Akurát sa nepojednávalo o peniazoch, ale o... dobre, sme svetaznalí inteligentní ľudia, nie nejaký puritáni (ospravedlňujem sa členom reformovanej cirkvi, ktorí by toto čítali), tak to teda poviem... Rozprávalo sa o dĺžke penisu.
Akurát som to nechcel napísať hneď na začiatku, aby som vyvrátil svoju povesť perverzáka, vulgárneho kokota a zvrhlíka, ktorý sa teší zo všetkého čo i len trocha zvrhlého. Neúspešne.


Keďže sa vedecké kapacity po prečítaní článku dožadovali dôkazu formou experimentu, poskytujem ho priamo tu:
(postup je rovnaký ako pri kopaní jám: začnete čiarou, narysujete raz takú, dva razy takú a pre kontrolu tri razy takú)
Z obrázku jasne vyplýva, že raz taká a dva razy taká čiara majú rovnaké (alebo prinajmenšom takmer rovnaké) dĺžky.
 

Buď první, kdo ohodnotí tento článek.

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Moc zaujímavá úvaha! Aspoň viem prečo som aj ja prechádzala z matiky nápodobne. Asi si ju ešte viackrát prečítam lebo ma dostala a prinútim bunky nad tým nejako uvažovať!
A to s tými lopatami určite neskúsim :D, ale poradím to nejakému dobrákovi čo mi povie, že sa nudí :D

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